10 day vipassana meditation reflection

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“Nobody causes suffering for you. You cause the suffering for yourself by generating tensions in the mind. If you know how not to do that, it becomes easy to remain peaceful and happy in every situation.” — S.N Goenka

In October 2025 I decided to participate in my first 10-day Vipassana retreat as taught by S.N. Goenka. It was intense, emotional, painful, insightful and liberating all at once. In the end, I recommend this experience to all humans to discover their true nature and develop real wisdom. Below is a recount of my insights and general advice if you are being called to take a course. May all beings be happy.

My Introduction to Vipassana Meditation

The first I ever heard of Vipassana was during the 2019 pandemic, when my interest in contemplative and applied practices of ancient wisdom deepened. By some miracle I came across the book “The Art of Living” by William Hart buried in the stacks of used books at my local thrift store.

I was still very new to meditation when I read this and was going through the infamous stages of disillusionment and dark night of the soul. I had no formal teacher and was randomly acquiring tons of knowledge via books, online forums, and various videos/discourses. This short read provided a general intellectual framework and understanding of Siddhartha Gautama’s discoveries that led to his enlightenment. The teachings also felt very pragmatic to me as solid advice and new outlooks of perceiving the world.

Fast forward a few years, I would be travelling to Bali, Indonesia in October 2025 and was seeking a deeper spiritual experience. It was early enough in my trip planning to research available Vipassana courses on the official website, which I knew about through friends who had previously taken the retreat.

With centres all around the world, there are plenty of opportunities year-round to participate in a course when and where it makes sense for you. The application process is straight-forward, but I recommend applying the minute applications for the cohort you are interested in open up, as spots fill up very quickly.

I got notified of my acceptance two days after applying, and the following months leading to the course was filled with anticipation. I tried my best to refrain from over-researching the experience to quell expectations. In retrospect, I’m glad I did as reading too many reviews can be indulgent (including this one, of course), as in the end you will never be fully prepared for what lies ahead of you.

Day 0: Arriving to the Centre and Scheduling Logistics

Dhamma Geha is located about a 30 minute drive north of Ubud’s city centre, in a peaceful area neighbouring rice fields and local farmers. I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful centre to have practiced for the 10 days. During breaks between sittings, the nature you encounter is lush and full of alive-ness. Everyday I discovered new sights: banana trees, peace lilies, rubber trees, durian trees, wild mushrooms, tropical flora, coconut trees, and so much more.

The daily schedule remains relatively consistent throughout the 10 days, with the first morning gong sounding at 4AM. Men and women are separated in different living quarters, and there is a dress code that emphasizes loose fitting clothing covering the shoulders and legs. The centre provides two delicious and healthy vegetarian meals per day, freshly prepared by the kind local staff and volunteer servers.

Upon arriving to the centre, you are asked to turn in any electronic devices and writing/reading materials. The first night of settling in, we had the chance to speak to the other meditators and share one last light dinner. After listening to an introductory discourse, it was lights out for the official start of the practice the next morning and we fully commenced noble silence for 10 days.

Days 1-10: Pain, Tears, Joy, and Equanimity

[More about S.N. Goenka, his style, his method of teaching]

• intellectual vs. experiential wisdom - historically i have always loved to analyse, theorize, philosophize. but goenkaji explicitly mentions this is no room for that. that type of wisdom “intellectual wisdom” can actually bring even more suffering and have its own potential perils. prior to this experience, i have definitely been a victim of this: https://www.awakin.org/v2/read/view.php?tid=55
• Wikipedia Prajñā (Buddhism)
• scientific approach to inquiry. experiencing truth within the framework of direct experience and in the body/mind by equanimous observation

Days 1-3: Anapana

The practice of anapana was the focus of the first three days, meaning mindfulness of the natural breath as it comes in and out. To develop right concentration on the small area around the entrance of the breath and observe the sensations is like sharpening the attentional knife of one’s practice. Eventually, the breath itself and area around the breath services as an anchor to return to if the meditator is highly distracted by the mind, or is unable to observe sensations throughout the body.

I was surprised at the vivid and wild nature of my dreams at night during this beginning period. After asking the teacher about why this was, she encouraged me to not give too much importance to the content of my dreams as it is the product of our mind’s illusory nature. I am prone to overthinking, including an opportunity to analyze the symbolism present in dreams, and appreciated the advice to not overthink and create further stories around the why behind the content.

My mind was in overdrive the first few days. Despite genuine effort, a few minutes into the meditation practice in the meditation hall, my mind would get distracted. However the nature of the mind is our thoughts are always changing. Even if the mind is in a distracted state, we can have confidence this will not be the ever-lasting condition. And we are able to experience this insight of the constantly changing nature of the mind along with all other sensations without a desire for the experience to be different than it is. Eventually, I was able to develop sensational awareness of the area around my nose, sensing a light buzzing feeling there.

Days 4-9: Vipassana

The practice of vipasanna was taught on day 4, which translates to “insight” in Pali. The technique itself is a concentrated body scan, where the meditator begins from the top of the head and patiently surveys every part of the body going down to the toes. As the days progressed so did the depth and free flow of the technique.

On the day the vipasanna technique was introduced, we were instructed to not move from our seated position for two hours while practicing. In doing so, we formally take up the virtue of adhitthana, which translates to 'resolution' and signifies a firm mental determination towards one's goals, akin to an unyielding mountain. This Pali term embodies the Perfection of Determination, highlighting the essential strength of will required to successfully attain objectives.

The experience for me was brutal. I was in full on resistance, and began silently crying because of the pain. So much suffering and what felt like an uncontrollable reaction to the discomfort of the practice. In the later sitting, I found myself moving around a lot, and becoming extremely frustrated and annoyed with the practice. I recall having strong feelings of wanting to pack up my bags and leave that evening.

“Then how is one not to make oneself unhappy? How is one to live without suffering? By simply observing without reacting: Instead of trying to keep one experience and avoid another, to pull this close, to push that away, one simply examines every phenomenon objectively, with equanimity, with a balanced mind.

This sounds simply enough, but what are we to do when we sit to meditate for an hour, and after ten minutes feel a pain in the knee? At once we start hating the pain, wanting the pain to go away. But it does not go away; instead, the more we hate it, the stronger it becomes. The physical pain becomes a mental pain, causing great anguish.

If we can learn for one moment just to observe the physical pain; if even temporarily we can emerge from the illusion that it is our pain, that we feel pain; if we can examine the sensation objectively like a doctor examining someone else’s pain, then we see that the pain itself is changing. It does not remain forever, every moment it changes, passes away, starts again, changes again.

When we understand this by personal experience, we find that the pain can no longer overwhelm and control us. Perhaps it goes away quickly, perhaps not, but it does not matter. We do not suffer from the pain anymore because we can observe it with detachment.”

— (Page 95, The Art of Living, Vipassana Meditation as Taught by S.N. Goenka by William Hart)

With this being the peak of my overly reactive experience, the rest of my days had lulled into a steadier mind. With the virtue of strong determination to make it through a sitting as best I could without moving, and continuing to observe the sensations of the body and mind changing during every moment, I began to develop my equanimity muscle slowly but surely. Forming no preference to the pleasant sensations of a free flowing tingling throughout the body that would arise, nor the pain or numbness that would be noticeable in my back and legs.

Sensation became neutralized with embodied equanimity, and not due to platitudes or intellectualizing, but by the direct experience of annica: every particle of the body, every process of the mind is in a state of constant flux. Arising and passing away. There is nothing that remains beyond a single moment, no hard core to which one can cling, nothing that one can call “I” or “mine”. This “I” is really just a combination of processes that are always changing.

“When “you” (the surface self) notice the desirable effect of equanimity, your subconscious (which is where equanimity arises) also notices it. Thus, the deep mind gets trained away from the habit of resistance and into the habit of equanimity. This aspect of mindfulness training is actually a form of classical operant (or Skinnerian) conditioning. Continuous mindful awareness creates a feedback loop from which the primitive circuitry of the deep mind learns to perceive an immediate reward (less suffering and more fulfillment) associated with a certain behaviour (not interfering with the sensory experiences that they are producing).”

— Shinzen Young, The Five Ways to Know Yourself

Over time and around day 7-8 of sitting, I discovered that so much of my resistance and escapism, fantasy mind, planning, comes due to a deep mental habit that is uncomfortable with the present moment as is. Perhaps due to boredom and to a refusal of sitting in deep acceptance of change. It is extremely subtle to notice how much of an addiction it is to either think into the future (fantasy) or roam to memories of the past (more fantasy). Particularly when rewarded for such a mental functioning, to make a living, or to survive in modernity. From Bikkhu Bodhi’s essay "Anicca Vata Sankhara":

The most important fact to understand about sankharas, as conditioned formations, is that they are all impermanent: "Impermanent, alas, are formations." They are impermanent not only in the sense that in their gross manifestations they will eventually come to an end, but even more pointedly because at the subtle, subliminal level they are constantly undergoing rise and fall, forever coming into being and then, in a split second, breaking up and perishing: "Their very nature is to arise and vanish." For this reason the Buddha declares that all sankharas are suffering (sabbe sankhara dukkha) — suffering, however, not because they are all actually painful and stressful, but because they are stamped with the mark of transience. "Having arisen they then cease," and because they all cease they cannot provide stable happiness and security.

Day 10: Metta

On the final day, the practice of metta is introduced, or loving-kindness meditation. I am grateful that prior to this retreat, I had been practicing metta through the teachings of Rob Burbea. His retreats on the jhanas and loving-kindness retreat, as well as his book “Seeing That Frees” had all been foundational building blocks to being curious about how to develop the virtue of metta toward ourselves, and to all beings.

With many mindfulness practices the breath become the object of our meditation. In metta the experience of loving-kindness that we generate becomes the object of our meditation. In order to progressively add kindle to the fire of the metta feeling, it is advised to have the mental object of something precious come to mind, such as a newborn child or a puppy. Anything that you can’t help but feel a sense of spontaneous neutral love and care toward. With this feeling (metta), we begin to genuinely wish this sense toward ourselves. Usually in the following mantras: “May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be at ease.”

When the metta is strong toward one’s self, then we extend metta toward a kind friend. Feeling the genuine compassion and love toward this friend, we can extend metta toward a stranger or acquantice. With strong enough metta we can extend metta toward those who we find it challenging to love, and eventually toward all beings, human or not, dead or alive.

“There are two main goals in the spiritual life. One is to have a sense of complete freedom and fulfillment for oneself. The other is to be a source of love and good will to others. If you can experience negativity as energy, “recolor” that energy as love and good will, and let it spread out from you, then you will be simultaneously achieving those two goals. With practice, any person can learn to do this. That means any person can experience an extraordinary empowerment in their daily life.

At first you may only be able to do this with small negativities--minor irritations. Bear in mind the steps again. The negative circumstance gives rise to strong feelings. But the feelings come in waves. Focus on the waves. Then produce a positive feeling. And let the waves that formerly were negative feelings be colored by that positive feeling so that their energy spreads and magnifies the positive feeling. Let yourself become just a mass of positive feeling, a mass of loving energy. And carry that vibration with you throughout the entire interaction and throughout your entire day.”

— Shinzen Young, Spiritual Alchemy: Transmuting Negativity into Loving Kindness

Pragmatic Advice and Take-Aways

End with other effects realized afterwards (improved posture) and upkeep, sleep, diet, friendships, fast-paced nature of life — how boredom is sacred

• daily stretching exercises and different poses to practice, fixing my posture by becoming more aware of the sensations of my body
• chest wall stretch
• this is a practice available to all, it is non-sectarian in nature
• basic yoga stretches (bring a yoga mat in your room for stretching during breaks if you have this available to you)

Conclusion

If you are considering taking the course, I would simply advise you are honest with yourself, and are in a healthy mental space to undergo the experience. If you are currently grieving, have other major life stressors, or are suffering a particularly bad episode of depression or anxiety, this 10-day experience will be more intense than it already is, and potentially emotionally disturbing.

Further, you cannot lean on the teachers or staff there as trained psychological therapists or being an active support system. Their presence is mainly to support your learning of the meditation technique. In which case, I would wait until your circumstances are more stabilized, and you have the capacity and resilience to handle the physical, mental, and emotional demands of this course.

If those above circumstances truthfully do not apply to you, do not hesitate and overthink the decision to do it. You will deeply thank yourself for having done it and embarking on the path.

I will end this reflection with the following parting words of advice, as written by Ven. Henepola Gunaratana in his book “Mindfulness in Plain English”:

1. Don't expect anything: Just sit back and see what happens. Treat the whole thing as an experiment. Take an active interest in the test itself. But don't get distracted by your expectations about results. For that matter, don't be anxious for any result whatsoever. Let the meditation move along at its own speed and in its own direction. Let the meditation teach you what it wants you to learn. Meditative awareness seeks to see reality exactly as it is. Whether that corresponds to our expectations or not, it requires a temporary suspension of all our preconceptions and ideas. We must store away our images, opinions and interpretations someplace out of the way for the duration. Otherwise we will stumble over them.
2. Don't strain: Don't force anything or make grand exaggerated efforts. Meditation is not aggressive. There is no violent striving. Just let your effort be relaxed and steady.
3. Don't rush: There is no hurry, so take your time. Settle yourself on a cushion and sit as though you have a whole day. Anything really valuable takes time to develop. Patience, patience, patience.
4. Don't cling to anything and don't reject anything: Let come what comes and accommodate yourself to that, whatever it is. If good mental images arise, that is fine. If bad mental images arise, that is fine, too. Look on all of it as equal and make yourself comfortable with whatever happens. Don't fight with what you experience, just observe it all mindfully.
5. Let go: Learn to flow with all the changes that come up. Loosen up and relax.
6. Accept everything that arises: Accept your feelings, even the ones you wish you did not have. Accept your experiences, even the ones you hate. Don't condemn yourself for having human flaws and failings. Learn to see all the phenomena in the mind as being perfectly natural and understandable. Try to exercise a disinterested acceptance at all times and with respect to everything you experience.
7. Be gentle with yourself: Be kind to yourself. You may not be perfect, but you are all you've got to work with. The process of becoming who you will be begins first with the total acceptance of who you are.
8. Investigate yourself: Question everything. Take nothing for granted. Don't believe anything because it sounds wise and pious and some holy men said it. See for yourself. That does not mean that you should be cynical, impudent or irreverent. It means you should be empirical. Subject all statements to the actual test of your experience and let the results be your guide to truth. Insight meditation evolves out of an inner longing to wake up to what is real and to gain liberating insight to the true structure of existence. The entire practice hinges upon this desire to be awake to the truth. Without it, the practice is superficial.
9. View all problems as challenges: Look upon negatives that arise as opportunities to learn and to grow. Don't run from them, condemn yourself or bear your burden in saintly silence. You have a problem? Great. More grist for the mill. Rejoice, dive in and investigate.
10. Don't ponder: You don't need to figure everything out. Discursive thinking won't free you from the trap. In mediation, the mind is purified naturally by mindfulness, by wordless bare attention. Habitual deliberation is not necessary to eliminate those things that are keeping you in bondage. All that is necessary is a clear, non-conceptual perception of what they are and how they work. That alone is sufficient to dissolve them. Concepts and reasoning just get in the way. Don't think. See.
11. Don't dwell upon contrasts: Differences do exist between people, but dwelling upon them is a dangerous process. Unless carefully handled, it leads directly to egotism. Ordinary human thinking is full of greed, jealousy and pride. A man seeing another man on the street may immediately think, "He is better looking than I am." The instant result is envy or shame. A girl seeing another girl may think, "I am prettier than she is." The instant result is pride. This sort of comparison is a mental habit, and it leads directly to ill feeling of one sort or another: greed, envy, pride, jealousy, hatred. It is an unskillful mental state, but we do it all the time. We compare our looks with others, our success, our accomplishments, our wealth, possessions, or our I.Q. and all these lead to the same place--estrangement, barriers between people, and ill feeling.

This course has provided my meditation practice with purpose, with Dhamma, and with a path. I had historically felt my practice was rather aimless. Was I meditating to relax? To self-improve? To cosplay contemplation? Because I “knew it was good for me?” I’ve since emerged with a deeper felt sense of the why. I am grateful to have taken the time off to participate in this life-changing experience, and would be interested in doing it again in the future as a returning student.

Thank you for reading and I wish your path is filled with loving kindness.

~~~

Resources mentioned:

1. The Art of Living, Vipassana Meditation as Taught by S.N. Goenka by William Hart: cicp.org.kh
2. Mindfulness in Plain English by Ven. Henepola Gunaratana: https://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_english.html
3. Rob Burbea, Loving-Kindness retreat:
4. Shinzen Young https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/POSTURE-for-MEDITATION-2021-revision.pdf
5. "Anicca Vata Sankhara", by Bhikkhu Bodhi. Access to Insight (BCBS Edition), 16 June 2011, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/bodhi/bps-essay_43.html
6. Shinzen Young https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_lovingkindness.pdf

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